Honeymoon Part I or an Unfortunately Long Post About Travel Woes
We just got back on Sunday night, and I’m still trying to get a grasp on the comedy of errors (and delights!) that were our honeymoon. If I were to try to diagram the honeymoon like sentence, I think it would look something like this:
This trip landed squarely in some vortex of air travel bad luck, which all started something like this:
- Friday 11:30am: leaving salon having asked for Red Carpet-style wavy hair and having received Shirley Temple curls, US Airways calls and says that our 4pm flight to Philadelphia is very likely going to be seriously delayed or canceled, could we please rush to the airport to make an earlier flight. Wow, I think to myself, US Airways is so thoughtful and responsible.
- Friday, 2pm-3:45pm, Minneapolis: we sit on the airplane, with the seatbelt sign on, initially looking like this–all excited for our honeymoon:
- Friday, 3:45pm: Announcement is made: “Due to mechanical failures, this flight will be canceled, we’re going back to the gate. Oh, and if you were originally on the 4pm flight and are hoping to get back on it, it’s now completely booked. Oh, and much to our surprise it looks like it will leave right on time! Ha!” Ok, so that wasn’t really the announcement, but that is the gist of what happened over the next hour and a half that left me feeling like US Airways was part of some honeymoon-busting reality show. I kept looking around the airport for Ashton Kutcher.
- Interim: Picture me on a cell phone trying to get to a real person from USAirways, chasing Ethan around the terminal, who was desperately looking for a representative who wasn’t standing in front of a 30-person deep line of people all hoping to rebook their flights. I estimate that during this process we talked to at least 4 different people and were for some small amount of time on as many different flights out of Minneapolis. Not even out of our home airport, and we’re all ready haggard and sweaty. So much for my romantic vision of wavy-haired, elegant, complimentary upgraded honeymooners.
- Friday, 6:30pm: finally walk onto a plane, now Delta, to Atlanta. As we get on the plane, the flight attendant sees our roller bag and tells us we’ll have to check it. I politely reply “Please can we keep it? We’ve had a really bad day, and I’m nervous about losing it.” Flight Attendent (to me): “I’m sorry, Mam, but there is no room for your bag.” Me (to Ethan): “I can’t deal with this, can you handle it?” At which point Ethan just picks up the bag and starts walking down the aisle mumbling about how he’s sure he can fit it under the seat in front of us, and the flight attendant is chasing him down the airplane yelling “Sir! Sir!” Next thing I know I’m crying and we’re an inch away from the no-fly list. Needless to say after insisting that the flight attendent promise us our bag would not be lost, we allowed them to check it. I’m pretty sure this was the real low point.
- Friday, 8:30pm, Atlanta airport: Dinner at Fridays! Blegh:
followed, happily, by:
- (After a drug induced night of airplane sleep), Saturday, noon, Heathrow Airport, baggage claim: Ethan goes to the baggage counter to see about our checked luggage. I wait for our reluctantly checked carry-on. Needless say, I catch Ethan just in time to tell the baggage claim dude that we actually need to report 3, not 2, missing bads. Giant sigh.
Maybe it was our jet-lag delirium or just honeymoon bliss, but we really didn’t care that much. We were in England! Our honeymoon was beginning! And with an adventure! We giggled about the absurdity of wearing our airplane clothes and Delta Skymiles t-shirts for our entire honeymoon, filed our claims and headed off to the car rental place.
I assure you the rest of the honeymoon, apart from the occasional near-divorce-inducing circling of roundabouts (for reference), was disaster free, included only one rental-car-damaging incident, many sheep, lots of tea, good weather, nice walks through the countryside, no less than 3 antique printing presses, and amazing amazing food. All of that, in far less detail than the above, to come. Here’s a preview: