2011 will be fab
What is supposed to be happening right now is that I am supposed to be preparing a lecture for the course I’m teaching this semester. That was my big impressive grown-up work plan for the day. But instead I dropped my brand new fancy phone in the cats’ water dish. That sent me into a guilty-feeling tizzy and made me feel like my flighty irresponsibility, which I normally feel is kind of charming, is in fact just plain irresponsible. This was followed by the intense reading of what-to-do-if-your-iphone-gets-wet threads online, and now 5 hours later, my phone is sitting in a bowl of rice. Who knew?
What this tells me is that maybe its time for some serious grown-up responsible new year’s resolutions. There is this psychological trick called “How to Make Yourself Do What You Do What You Say You’re Going to Do” or more scientifically, implementation intentions. The basic idea is that if you say how you’ll do something you’re more likely to do it. You basically make a plan, like “If I go into Trader Joes, I won’t walk down the aisle with those S’mores Bites, that way I will attain my goal of not being an enormous person.” SO, here goes. Some resolutions and how I’ll do them.
Resolution 1: Don’t drop my phone in liquids. How: When I encounter liquid, don’t be an idiot a-hole.
Resolution 2: Discover ab muscles, currently hidden under months of post-wedding not caring about appearance. How: When I get up in the morning, I will do this (before getting into the shower but after coffee):
(Side note: Do you remember these videos?! My mom and I ordered them off of television when I was in highschool. Then I took the abs one to college, where I did it approximately 3 times. Now it’s on the internet!).
Resolution 3: I will take more pictures! I used to be so good at this and have elaborate photo albums from 1998-2005 to prove it.
Then, according to the aliens from the future who will find these albums, my exciting life ends. Well, Aliens, fear not. More evidence of this exciting life will emerge. How: I think this is pretty obvious. If my phone survives, I think this resolution will be easier to achieve given the camera attached to it. Please see resolution 1.
Resolution 4-10 (all the boring ones): floss, sort the mail as soon as I bring it in the door, drink less coffee, get into shape, watch fewer terrible rom-coms I’ve already seen on Netflix instant (Sweet Home Alabama, anyone? How embarassing!), tell Ethan sorry when I forget an important ingredient for dinner instead of giving long lectures on the importance of being able to go with the flow. How: Too bored to describe.
Resolution 11: Drink more champagne (in fact, be one of those people who always has a bottle chilling in the fridge). I mean, why not, right? How: Trader Joe’s sells champagne, right? When I go to Trader Joe’s I will by 4 reasonably priced bottles of champagne, so there is always some around.
Ok, so is it weird that two of my new year’s resolution involve grocery shopping? If you’d like to learn more about the sciency-science behind implementation intentions, read this.